just a feeling

A feeling. Like when you listen to a song, that brings you back to the past, to something horrible or wonderful or something that just warms you up inside or brings tears to your eyes. Emotion. A good thing for people, well yes I'd suppose. I mean how are people supposed to know how to act without them. But sometimes I just want to stop feeling them.

People have seen awful things, is it even right of me to feel so strongly in the same manner, when the magnitude of my life has been so much less? Maybe you just have to stop listening for a second, maybe it's more important to think. But thinking is too serious, serious enough to bring it all back, and then -- thanks brain, thanks a bunch.

Maybe I ought to get a hobby or two. Or sleep some more. Need less serious things on my mind. Oooh. And I hope being home will be fun. I need a good break, I need something... hopefully that I'll be able to find in old friends and old stories, and fun times. I remember, and my heart aches. Why can't it all be the same forever, why did I have to forget all my thoughts, why can't I just be sensible? Thinking back, this would be my worst nightmare, and maybe it will be when I get home, but let's hope that my minds moved on, and that I never really did write any of that thinking down, so I don't have to feel so horrible when I listen without hearing.